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To Judge or Not to Judge?

A View of the Guiding Light in a World of Darkness is a weekly devotional that seeks to apply Biblical principles to our everyday lives, written by inspirational speaker, Jeremy Curry.

1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Judging. It’s something we have all done whether we meant to do it or not.  We look at people and automatically make assumptions about them.  We see a man place a disabled parking placard in his window walk (seemingly unaffected with any disease) into a store. We wonder why he thinks he is disabled, all-the-while not knowing he suffers from severe kidney issues with horrific and chronic pain.  Perhaps we take it further and our judging is more direct as we critically scold someone about their behavior face-to-face.  And, in the 21st century, we attempt to take our judging to a whole new level by doing it in cyberspace via texting, emailing, Facebooking, tweeting, or using some other less confrontational means of judging. Sometimes it is through gossip and other times we angrily confront people directly in cyberspace.  No matter the medium, all of us have judged another at one point or another in our lives.

I know I’ve certainly judged others in ways that I shouldn’t and I have also been judged by others in ways that shouldn’t have been done to me.  It’s easy to prosecute, but heartbreaking when you are the accused.  In fact, I recently read on Facebook something one of my friends had posted, “Don’t judge others because they sin differently than you.”  Really?  Should we never ever try to get our brothers and sisters on the right track?  Is that what I would want from someone else if I were consistently and constantly sinning?  That’s not love, that’s tolerance. And they are two completely different concepts.  Tolerance, when used incorrectly, can completely push us off of the path that God wants for our lives. Love, on the other hand, makes us rely on Him and gives us guidance, putting us back on the straight and narrow path toward God.  But, how should we act when others, including our close friends and family, are sinning?

In the verses above, we read the words of Jesus saying, “Judge not, or you too will be judged.”  What exactly does that mean?  Does it mean that we should never tell someone if they are right or wrong according to God’s Word?  Does it mean that we should let everyone live how they want to as long as it makes them feel good?  Let’s take a closer look at the passage.  Verse 5 says, “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”  If we were never to judge one another, then why are we told we can remove the speck from our brother’s eye?  The concept of judging and removing specs must be contrary to each other, but perhaps not well understood in the English language.  The Greek word for “judge” is Krino.  When studying the original Greek, it seems more likely that the word “judge” in this instance is better translated as condemning someone.  We see the same Greek word used in John 3:17, which reads, “For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.”  Some translations of this verse even replace the word “judge” with “condemn.”  Again, we see the context of the word “judge” as someone who is condemning rather than someone who is pointing out sinful behavior that should be corrected.

In the above verses in Matthew, Jesus is giving the Sermon on the Mount. And, He is, in fact, telling people how to live when he tells them to first take out the plank from their own eye.  So, He is not only telling us what to do, but also showing us how to do it at the same time as we see Him point out sinful behavior of the hypocrites He is speaking to.

As Christians, we are constantly bombarded with others telling us that the Bible says, “You can’t tell me how to live.”  That’s clearly not the case.  It is more evident that we shouldn’t be approaching others in an angry manner or condemning someone to Hell (judging) when we, ourselves, are all sinners.  However, we see the great leaders like Paul telling people how to live many times by giving them guidance throughout the New Testament.  Of course, he did his absolute best to do it in a loving manner. 

Additionally, if we were called not to help keep others from sin, then how would the world know what God asks us to do?  Does this mean you should confront someone in anger in regards to their sinful behavior? No. Does this mean that you should continually pound someone on their sin again and again and again? Probably not, because you wouldn’t be showing love to that person.  Should you text your friend or put on Twitter and Facebook about how awful a person is?  No, not even close.

Remember, our second greatest command is to love our neighbors (Matthew 22:39).  We must do everything in love, including approaching others about their sinful behavior.  If you need guidance on how to do this, we are told exactly what we should do to correct the sinful acts of others in Matthew 18:15-17.

The next time you hear someone tell you that you shouldn’t tell them how to live, ask yourself these questions:

1. Did I pray about the situation?
2. Did I make sure that I had no planks in my eye? 
3. Did I approach the person one-on-one with love and in a loving manner?
4. Did I do my best to give guidance instead of judgment?

Remember that we are all hypocrites.  None of us are without sin.  But, it is also our responsibility to keep each other on track. As Paul said in 1 Thessalonians 5:14-15, “14 And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. 15 Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.”  In other words, don’t judge, but rather, give guidance.

Just as Jesus provided us with rules on how God wants us to live, then shouldn’t we teach the world about those same rules so that all may learn about His great love for us?  While we are not called to judge one another, we are certainly called to guide each other.  Pull others back on to the path who have left it, and they will do the same for you when you stray.

Judge not. Rebuke when necessary. Give guidance. Love always.

Father, we know that we have all condemned others in a way that we shouldn’t.  We know we are all sinners.  We ask that you work in our lives to remind us of Your grace and enable us to exhibit that same grace to others as we strive to become like Christ.  Give us love, grace, and peace in situations that seem out of our control as we seek to bring our brothers and sisters back to a right relationship with you. Keep us from judging and help us to give wise guidance to others.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Is It Storming?

Job 38:1-3

Then the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm. He said:

“Who is this that obscures my plans
with words without knowledge?
Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.

If you don’t know the story of Job, here it is in a nutshell:  Satan wants to try to show up God that there are no faithful people on Earth.  To prove it, he takes nearly everything from Job with the exception of his wife and a few friends, none of which really turn out to encourage him.  Job literally loses everything.  It doesn’t happen over time. It happens all at once.  In a moment’s notice, everything he has, including his family, is taken from him.  He is a patient man. But eventually, he does start to question God’s ways.  In chapter 3, we even see Job ask why he was even born.  Job has reached an emotional and physical rock bottom of his life.

Have you ever reached these periods in your life?  When all hope seems lost.  Or, perhaps not all hope is lost, but you are in a bleak situation with not much of a way to escape.  Maybe you are in a financial crunch, perhaps the loss of a job, or maybe even the loss of a child?

I was preaching at a church last Sunday and I stated to the congregation, “If I asked everyone to put their hands up who is going through something, every hand would be raised.”  However, we have a tendency to think that when we are going through difficult times that we are completely alone.

This is where one of my favorite Bible verses comes in, “Then the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm.”  Did you notice it didn’t say, “Then the Lord spoke to Job out of the bright, sunny day” or “The Lord spoke to Job out of the rainbow filled sky.”  Instead, He speaks to Job out of the storm; clearly representative of how everything in Job’s life, including the weather, is at its worst.  The Lord then reminds Job that He and only He is Lord as He begins to question him on things that only God could possibly know.  And, if only God can know those things, then how can a human ever understand God’s ways?

We have probably all been in Job’s position where we ask God why something has happened.  God reminds us in the oldest book in the Bible that He has His ways and we must trust that He will always do everything for our own good out of His everlasting love for us.  Are you in a storm right now?  When you’re in the midst of your storm, are you trusting God?  Are you remembering that He is there? Or, are you, instead, questioning His ways?

Father, we remember today that You are the everlasting God.  You are the one who is mighty to save.  You are the Holy one.  You are unmovable and unshakable.  Remind us that you love us, that you care for us, and that you are always there in the midst of every storm; no matter how big or small, no matter how short or long.  You are there.  Give us faith and remind us to trust in you. Speak to us in the midst of our storm.  We love you, Father. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Will You Pray for Me?

James 5:16

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

Luke 22:31-34

31 “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. 32 But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”

33 But he replied, “Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death.”

34 Jesus answered, “I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.”

How many times do we have people say to us, “Will you please pray for me?”  Or, how many times have you said to someone, “I’ll pray for you?”  Maybe some of you even cringed when you read the title of this post, thinking, “Great, what now?  This usually means there is a problem.”  It seems that we say this so much that it has almost become a part of our vernacular that doesn’t really mean anything.  I’ve seen non-believers tell others that their “thoughts and prayers” are with someone when another is going through hard times.  Why would they pray if they don’t even believe in prayer?  When we hear about the passing of a person, we often tell the loved ones of the deceased, “I will pray for you.”  But, do we really mean that?  Do we really pray?  Do we consciously sit and pray for specific items in the lives of others?  Perhaps a better question is, “Should we be praying for others?”

This past Sunday, the topic of the message at church was regarding intercessory prayer.  Are you still trying to get past that 5-syllable word? I can imagine your eyes just glazed over. <grin> Now, you’re probably counting the syllables to make sure I was telling you an accurate number.  <smile> Let’s make it simple. Intercessory prayer is simply when you pray for another person.  I thought I’d try an experiment this week based on Sunday’s message.  So, what was my experiment?  On the way to work each day this week, I stopped to pray silently for family and friends.  Instead of just assuming they knew I was praying for them, I texted them to let them know I was praying for them and I also included a Bible verse that I thought was relevant. And often, I told them exactly what I was praying for.  We see in the passage from James above that we are called to “pray for each other.”  I typically do this for my very close friends, but I wanted to put this into practice for many people to see exactly what would happen.  Interestingly, I received no less than 3 separate prayer requests from people who don’t normally ask me to pray for them.  I received responses that prayer requests had been answered, and I didn’t even know what those requests were, nor did I know they had prayer requests to begin with.  Some were encouraged and were thankful for the prayers. Very few people never responded to the text. I have to believe that God still worked in their lives, and He probably did some awesome things.  I know that God made this a great week for me as I spent time with Him by praying for others.  I’ve been basking in His love all week because of it.

It’s interesting that we even see Jesus praying for Simon when Jesus knew that Simon’s faith would fail.  Have you ever prayed for someone knowing full well that the person was going to do the opposite of what you were praying for?  Don’t you think it’s intriguing that Jesus prayed anyway when he knew this very thing?  He prayed Simon’s faith wouldn’t fail (although Jesus knew it would) and that after Simon turned back, he prayed for Simon’s future.  I can’t imagine the honor it must have been to have the Savior of the entire world pray for you, and then be humbled to know that I was going to fail at what He was asking for.

So, why intercessory prayer?  I mean, if a person is going to sin anyway, why pray for them?  First, it reminds us that others are more important than ourselves.  Remember the second greatest commandment, which is to “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39).  When we lift others up in prayer before ourselves, we are obeying the second greatest commandment.  Secondly, it enables us to be like Christ. It reminds me that I should pray for others even when I know (or at least, think I know) that they are going to fail at what I am praying for.  If we want to be like Christ, then intercessory prayer is an opportunity to emulate His love for us.  Thirdly, it causes us to grow spiritually.  When we are deep in prayer spending time on one of the greatest commandments; our faith will grow, our relationship with God will grow, and our relationship with those we pray for will grow.

Be honest, when someone says, “Please pray for me,” do you actually pray for them, or is it just a figure of speech to you?  God asks us to take time to pray for others.  Will you do what He asks this week?

Trusting Trouble?

Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers,and blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord.

Proverbs 16:20

Have you ever been tested by God? No, I’m sure you haven’t.  I mean, what Christians have ever been tested?  We certainly don’t read about anyone ever being tested or pushed in any direction in the Old or New Testament, do we?  Of course, I’m being sarcastic. <smile>  As Christians, we get tested all of the time. Some tests are small and some are large.

Have you ever noticed that those who go through the big tests are the ones who get noticed? I mean, we don’t read stories in the Bible about John lying by calling into work sick when he actually feels just fine.  Instead, we read stories about great men like Paul passing huge tests of being imprisoned for his faith.  We read stories about David, the man after God’s own heart, being tested when he wrongfully falls for Bathsheba.  Despite whether they passed or failed each test, we learn something from each of them, and we see God work in their lives.

The passage above reminds us of two things:

1. If we listen to Godly instruction, we will thrive.

2. If we trust in God, we will be blessed.

Those may seem like small “ifs,” but they are actually very large concepts to work on.  As an example, has someone ever given you wisdom and you simply replied with, “They don’t know what they are talking about!”  Or, you thought all was lost and that God had left you, but when the situation was over, you were still around, and (as always), so was God.

I don’t know about you, but in the tough times, I depend on my family and close friends to remind me that “this too shall pass” in addition to providing me Godly wisdom and encouragement along the way.  It can be difficult to trust God in the hard times.  On the converse, it can be hard to remember to trust God in the good times.  I believe it is one of the reasons that God gives us hardship.  It will build our faith, and when we come out on the other side, we are stronger and wiser.

We can learn so much from other Christians if we will just listen to their Godly instruction.  One of my best friends is a singer/songwriter, and she has a song with the following lyric:

“Oh fighter, don’t you fall down. You’re gonna make it another round.”

There are days that I am glad I can put her on repeat. <smile> It reminds me that God is in our corner, that we must trust God in everything we do, and that when we think the fight is over or has become impossible, we will make it another round because of our trust in God.

Whether you had a great week or a tough week, did you take the time this week to stop, listen to Godly instruction, and trust God in everything you did?  Did I?

Feeling Forgotten?

Isaiah 40:27-31

27 Why do you complain, Jacob?

    Why do you say, Israel,

“My way is hidden from the Lord;

    my cause is disregarded by my God”?

28 Do you not know?

    Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

    the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

    and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary

    and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,

    and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the Lord

    will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

    they will run and not grow weary,

    they will walk and not be faint.

The passage for today’s devotional comes to us from the book of Isaiah.  Scholars aren’t really certain who wrote this passage, but the message is constant and clear, “God does not forget.”

At this point in time, the Jews are in captivity in Babylon.  They remain under the control of the Babylonians for between 50 to 70 years.  Think about it. . .if you are 50, you likely have children and possibly grandchildren by now.  For three generations, you have not seen your home because you have not been allowed to leave.  God had made a promise to the Jews that they would be an eternal nation.  After seeing three generations and 50 years of exile in Babylon, I wonder how many of the Jews actually believed God was going to keep His promise?

In this verse, we see the writer asking the Jews why they are complaining, asking why their cause has been disregarded by God.  Have you been in that position before?  You pray and pray and yet, it seems like God is not answering your prayers.  Perhaps you are going through a difficult transition in your job, in a friendship, or a family relationship?  Maybe you are waiting on God’s perfect timing?  When you are in these situations, do you find yourself complaining?  Perhaps you wonder why God can’t just get things figured out quickly and fix them because you have been on your knees asking for healing, asking for things to begin moving in a direction so you know where to go?

When we fail to remember that God is everlasting, we forget that He is where our strength comes from.  But, we are reminded that when we have hope in the Lord, He will give us strength.  He will lift us up. We will be able to soar on wings like eagles, we will not grow weary, we will not grow faint.

After more than half a century had passed, God delivers the Jews from Babylon just as He promised.  How many of us have had to wait more than 50 years waiting on a request from God?  When we are delivered by the everlasting God, we are reminded that God is always faithful.

This week, when you are feeling forgotten, when you feel like God doesn’t care, when you feel like He isn’t answering your prayers, ask Him for strength, to renew your hope in Him, to keep you from growing weak.  When we remember He gives us all of these things, you will begin soaring on wings like eagles as your hope and faith in the Lord will renew your strength.  After growing tired and weary, I’m ready for that strength, that understanding that only God can give. I’m ready for God to give me power as I become weak. We can have all of this when our hope is in Him. Are you ready for these things?  It’s time to place our hope back in our everlasting God.

The Sound of Silence

Psalm 46

1 God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.
4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.
8 Come and see what the LORD has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields with fire.
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”
11 The LORD Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

This is a powerful passage.  It is one that contains my life verse as the Lord must continually work in me by reminding me to “Be still, and know that I am God.”

In God’s infinite knowledge and wisdom regarding the human heart, mind, and soul, isn’t it interesting that He knows there will be times when we are anxious, times when we may question God, when we question our faith, and when we wonder if God truly loves us?  In this passage, God reminds us and teaches us that He is Lord; the ever-lasting God.

I love how God uses the metaphor of the mountains falling into the sea and the earth give way while earthquakes are shaking the remaining ground that is under our feet.  Have you ever been to that point in your life when you felt as if everything around you was falling apart?  And after everything around you seems to crumble to the ground, the ground beneath you that you thought was a firm foundation started to shake as well as people you trust disappoint you.  Or, maybe a leader that you greatly trusted fell toward sin, and your confidence is shaken.  You see, God knew exactly what we would go through in our lives.  He knew that everything would seem vulnerable; even the ground beneath our feet.  And, He knew this because it is true.  We live in a world that is cursed with sin.  All of it will pass away.  But, God knows there is one that is unshakable, unmovable, all-loving, and all-trusting. It is Him.

He reminds us that when everything falls apart and we find ourselves in a situation where it is impossible to trust anyone or anything, that we stop ourselves. We stop what we are doing. We stop what we are thinking.  We should simply sit, get on our knees, or find some way to literally be still and know that God is God.  These are the moments when our faith grows, when we become stronger as a Christian, when we rely solely on God rather than anything else.

Have you recently had a situation in your life that has caused you to struggle?  Maybe you were stressed out with everything seemingly going wrong, maybe a loved one unexpectedly passed away, perhaps your friends or family have let you down, you or a loved one has been diagnosed with an incurable disease, or it could be that life doesn’t seem to be going your way.  I don’t know why these things are happening to you or why they happen to me.  But, I do know that these are the times when God calls us to be still; to remember He is our God.  Whether you are suffering or not, take time out of your busy day and your stressful life to remember that our God is all-powerful, full of grace, and is full of more love than we can even fathom.  In the silence, in the stillness, you can hear God sweetly whispering in your ear, “Be still, my child. I am God. I love you. Be still.”

That, friends, is something that can calm even the biggest storm of trouble in your life.  May you all experience God’s peace today and every day.

God’s Plan

John 3:16

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

This passage is perhaps the most recognized verse in the entire Bible.  In one verse, it seemingly summarizes God’s love for us, what He has done for us, and how we can love Him to live with him for eternity.  That’s a lot to put into just one verse.  Knowing how much is in this verse is a good reminder that scripture is indeed “God-breathed” (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

In the U.S., we have been celebrating Independence Day this week.  We have been celebrating freedom from a tyrannical government that we overthrew 237 years ago, freeing us from overbearing kings of the past.  We remember the many men who fought to provide us with the ability to worship as we wish, to speak freely, and the opportunity to pursue happiness.  It’s a near-constant celebration as July 4 and the following weekend are filled with fireworks and other events to celebrate such a glorious occasion.

However, it is interesting that we don’t think of the hard times the soldiers went through in the Revolutionary War.  The tendency is simply to remember that America won the war.  We forget that we almost lost the war multiple times until the French came along our side as a result of the Battle of Saratoga in the fall of 1777, arguably the turning point of the war.  Even as our friends came along side of us, there was still a long battle ahead.  Later that year, and into the beginning of 1778, George Washington and his troops suffered through a harsh winter at Valley Forge.  Many of the men didn’t have boots, most didn’t have warm clothes, the new American government didn’t have money to pay the soldiers, and almost all went hungry.  It was a desperate time as many soldiers began to dessert their posts.  One soldier put it this way: “half the army are naked, and almost the whole army go barefoot.”  It was a dismal scene.

Think about what life was like before Christ arrived.  The world was a place without morality, without truth, without hope; only the faith of the God of Abraham.  Then, Christ was born and hope was restored as Emmanuel was now in the world.  Just over 30 years later, when Jesus died on the cross, those that did not understand God’s plan once again began to weep while they watched Jesus die as they had forgotten that God was all powerful, all loving.  In fact, the greatest sorrow of all. . .seeing our Savior die on the cross was in fact the largest gift ever given to mankind.

As we walk through life and suffer tragedies, it is important to try to remember that God always has a plan.  We often don’t see it, but it is always there.  George Washington later wrote this in a letter to Governor Clinton about the soldiers at Valley Forge, “As naked and as starving as they are, we cannot enough admire the incomparable patience and fidelity of the soldier.”  In their sufferings, admiration was found; and admiration, brought hope that this brood of American blood could finish a seemingly impossible war.  While it still took many more years to win the Revolutionary War, that is exactly what happened.

The same is true with our walk with Christ.  We will suffer like Him.  There will be afflictions that we don’t understand.  There will be trials and tribulations that seem impossible.  But, as God has a plan for everything, He will use all these things to bring about hope and goodness in one way or another.  And, it will align with our eternal hope because God gave His one and only son, and whoever believes in Him shall not perish; but have eternal life.  I pray that you and I remember that this isn’t just hope as it was before Christ walked this Earth. But, for you and me, it is a promise that has been fulfilled.  May we remember God’s love for all of us as we walk through the trials and tribulations that have been placed in our lives.

We All Fall Down

1 Peter 4:12-13 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.

Have you been through a time in your life when it seemed that everything went wrong? Your car broke down, you got laid off from work, you didn’t get the job you hoped for, your water heater went out, the furnace broke, the air conditioning broke in your car, or something else. Interesting that we can come up with so many things that go wrong in our lives. My guess is that as you were reading the long list of problems, you were quickly able to think of your most recent issues.

Perhaps you have been in a place where many of your friends and family are experiencing problems, and it just feels like the whole world is coming apart. We know that problems will arise in our lives, and yet, we still seem surprised when it happens. We may feel like God is letting us down or that we are being punished. While the daily issues of life can sometimes be overwhelming, this passage is referring to suffering for being a Christian. Yes, you will face everyday problems, but as you grow in your walk with God, you will find many more troubles in this world as you “participate in the sufferings of Christ.” Others will challenge your faith, situations will arise that may make you question God’s ways, and Satan will do everything possible to derail your relationship with God.

When these things happen, did you read where it says we should give up? There was also the part about breaking down and forgetting God. . .did you see that in there near where it talks about giving up? Of course, none of this is even thought of as a possibility. Instead, we are asked to rejoice in our sufferings. When you have gone through hard times, did you want to give up or ask God, “Why?” I know I have. But, when we live for God, we know what to expect; not just small issues, but fiery ordeals because we “will be tested.” The next time this situation happens, stop and rejoice as it is said we should do. Rejoice in the sufferings because you never know who you may be affecting. Don’t be selfish, and feel sorry for yourself, but rather, rejoice in the Lord during those times when we all fall down, just as God’s Word calls us to do. And, if you follow the Word; one day, you will be “overjoyed when His glory is revealed.” That, my friends, is a reason for all of us to rejoice in even the most difficult of circumstances.

Perfectly Unperfect Friends

Proverbs 22:24-25

24 Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person,
do not associate with one easily angered,
25 or you may learn their ways
and get yourself ensnared.

Proverbs 18:24

24 One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
10 If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.

What is a true friend? What does that mean in the Biblical sense?  One of today’s passages clearly tells us what it does not mean. A true friend is not someone who consistently gets angry quickly all of the time.  We also find that we should not have friends who are unreliable.

Unreliable. . .what does that mean?  Does that mean if your friend is consistently late and they show up at your house 15 minutes late for the 20th time in a row, then they shouldn’t be your friend?  Does that mean that your friend who has to keep re-scheduling time to be with you shouldn’t be your friend? This probably wasn’t what Solomon, the wisest man to walk the Earth, meant by an unreliable friend.  In this case, Solomon is likely referring to someone who is not dependable in almost any situation; someone who is likely to mislead you consistently.

Why should it matter if your friends are consistent, unyielding, and ultimately, reliable? It’s interesting that we later see Solomon write about how a person can be picked up by their friend when they fall down, as if he had some personal experience about this type of friendship in his life.  If we put the puzzle pieces together that Solomon gives us, friends who are unreliable won’t be there to pick you up off of the ground when you need it most.  They will disappear, leave you behind, and perhaps worst of all; stop loving you as if you were never their friend.  They fail the second greatest commandment given from Jesus to love one another, which we talked about in yesterday’s devotion.

Have you ever had a friend like that? Someone you thought would always be there for you, but then they didn’t show up when you needed them the most?  Or, have you had a friend who left you behind disconnecting himself/herself from you as if they had nothing to do with you and wanted nothing to do with you?  Worse yet, have you been this type of friend to someone else?  I ask myself all of these same questions.  Solomon warns us against these types of people.  He warns us that if these types of people are considered our friends; the ones we rely on for support, then you will soon come to ruin.  Have you been there?  Have you fallen on the ground thinking a friend will be there to lift you up, only to find they want nothing to do with you? Have you thought a friend was “closer than a brother” only to find them “unreliable”?  Solomon knew that these types of friends cause deep wounds in our hearts and souls; thus, he warns against them.

I was recently talking to a good friend about when friends fail to love us through our failures in life.  That is a very large and long struggle to deal with.  When we fail, when we sin (and we ultimately all do), it gives us an opportunity to find out who our true friends really are.  The friends that leave you are not true friends, but those that stick “closer than a brother” is a Biblical true friend.  These are the friends who are walking in the light following God’s two most important commandments as we talked about yesterday.  I don’t know about you, but I have a very small handful of these people in my life. One is my wife, who never leaves my side no matter what happens.  The others are people who see my shortcomings, my weaknesses, my failings, the times when I fall, and yet, they are still there on the other side waiting to help pick me up off of the ground.  One of my best and closest dear friends told me that our friendship is “perfectly unperfect.”  She didn’t know it at the time, but she was citing Solomon’s wisdom and simply summarizing it in two short words. This is what she was saying: “If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”  When either of us falls (and we inevitably do), we help each other up as our friendship is “perfectly unperfect.”

As you think about your friends today, keep close the reliable friends; the ones who are “closer than a brother.”  Send them a text, send them an email, write on their Facebook Timeline, give them a shout out on Twitter; remind them you love them, and you are there to pick them up when the other falls down.

Puppy Love

1 John 1:5-7 This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

I was recently talking with one of my best friends, and whenever we get together, I know I’m going to learn something new about her through an interesting or funny story. It’s going to make me laugh or smile, and it always gives me more insight on who she is as a person.  She recently began telling me about her dog, Princess, a chocolate lab, from when she was a little girl. Princess had decided to have puppies underneath the porch of the abandoned house that was on my friend’s farm.  The mom and her pups were way under the house and in a dangerous position where it was extremely difficult to get to them. So, my friend decided she would pull out the pups one by one until all of them were out and safe.  After she pulled them out, Princess decided that it would be a good idea to take each and everyone of those puppies one by one back under the house in the dangerous position where she had them originally.  My friend risked her life going under the house only to be circumvented by Princess’ will.

Have you ever had difficult friends or family to deal with in your life?  They claim to be a Christian or claim to be a good person, but they don’t walk in the light.  Instead, they select a sinful path and stick with it.  You feel you should save them from their path or that they should turn from their wicked ways. But, when you try to help them, they are like Princess. They walk back into the darkness where there is danger; where there is sin.  Sometimes, they walk far into the darkness and sometimes they are just outside of your reach entering in the darkness.  But, nevertheless, it is their will to enter the darkness no matter how you try to help them.

These friends or family members often put us in a difficult position because darkness is incompatible with light.  That is, you cannot have both light and darkness, and so the walk with your friend or your family becomes more and more difficult.  You know that the only way you are going to be close to them again is to get them back in the light, but when you try to bring them back; their will takes over and places them back in the darkness.  You wonder what to do as you know you cannot discipline them back into God’s ways.

John is warning us what happens when we do not live out the truth. . .when our friends or our family members do not live out the truth.  He is warning us to stay away from the darkness and to stay in the light “where there is no darkness.”  What does this mean to our family and friends who have gone astray? Like my friend realized with Princess, it was out of her hands. Princess was going to do her own will.  Since we cannot change the will of others, we must set the example, live in the light, and pray that our friends and family will come back to the light in God’s time.

How can we set the example? In Matthew 22:37-39, we read this:

37 Jesus answered:

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind. 38 This is the first and most important commandment. 39 The second most important commandment is like this one. And it is, “Love others as much as you love yourself.”

If we love the Lord our God with all that we are, the second commandment becomes easier. . .we can love others as much as ourselves. Isn’t it interesting that the two greatest commandments involve love? I didn’t read anything about retribution, did you? I also didn’t read anything about denying someone love if they come back from a long time in the darkness, did you?

Only God can change hearts and only He can change the will of a person. And, while it may be difficult, it is important to keep loving God and to love others as ourselves. If it is God’s will, He will turn those friends and family members back to you, and you must love them as yourself.  Be the example of the person walking in the light when they are in darkness and be there for them with open, loving arms when they come back into the light.

When Princess was ready, she brought out her puppies. My friend had patiently waited for her to come back into the light and she loved Princess without any regrets.  This is how we must deal with our friends and family who have walked into darkness and have gone astray. Be patient while God works in their lives and brings them out of the darkness. Love them without limits just as you would love yourself.. .when they come back into the light, love them with all of your heart just as you would love yourself. . .without regret; just as our God loves us wholly, completely, and without regret.